At this moment 2:30pm I am fighting the extremely strong urge to eat chocolate chip cookies. I am work and I am working a late shift so I am hungry right now which is usually my lunch time at this point. I go to the cafeteria (mind you I brought lunch or I guess what we will call dinner when it will be time to eat) and my mind was saying cookies, you know you want cookies. I thought no I am going to get fries (not a good choice but cheaper than there small salad that is just lettuce) and I got a cup of watermelon. I was hoping the watermelon would stop the sweet crave and a bottle of water. The watermelon is not doing it but I am still eating it and praying please let the cookie crave stop.
I need to stop eating the sugar and I HAVE to get off the couch or rather computer chair or bed to do some exercise. I am in my last class to complete my Associates which finishes on Sunday. I am excited about that but I can’t make that an excuse. I didn’t weigh in last week because I want to stick to weighing in, in the mornings on Sunday. The Sunday before I got up and left the house to get my daughter and had coffee on the way to pick her up. No way was I going to weigh in, in the afternoon. I did get back on my weigh in schedule this past Sunday and of course the news was terrible. Of course it was a weight gain and no I am not really surprised, I gained 3.4lbs. I finally got on my weight loss group page on FB and then almost came to tears. Tears you may ask why, well the ladies were posting side by side pics of their success and it was wonderful but so terrible for me because I was right back to asking myself why can’t you get it together!! Now let’s put icing on the cake I did cry this morning after watching a YouTube Video. It was a video response from one of the ladies in my weight loss group and what got me all chocked up and made me cry was about when you are FED UP and backed into a corner. I cried because I keep saying I am tired but is the problem I haven’t become FED UP and backed into a corner yet? The other part was her speaking of all the things she was struggling with and she didn’t want to say on her tomb she died young at the time she was in her 20’s. I am not in my 20’s but at my age I struggle with the same things, climbing stairs part of my body that just hurt for no reason and I have even had episodes of unexplained swelling and pain in my foot, hand (my hand actually cramped in and couldn’t stretch out), the other day my side of my face got swollen at my laugh line.
I tell the people I work with all the time to use their resources and there are no excuses. Why do I not use my resources? I have the biggest loser as a Kinect Video game, also the DVD with a book that can help me. I have Zumba on Kinect as well and both Dance Central one and two. There is a trail in my subdivision too. This past Sunday I was invited to walk with a group of girls as they like to call it there 5k Sunday walk. I didn’t make that because it was 7:45 in the morning meet up and I didn’t get to bed till like 6am which meant a 30 minute sleep to make sure dressed and there for the walk. I did put on my calendar for next week though because I have to go!!
The cookie craving has died down some. I am drinking my water after this watermelon and fries which was about an hour and a half ago that I had the watermelon and fries. I am thinking I will wait till 5 or 5:30 to heat up my dinner. Then after that I have no choice I can’t eat again because the café will be closed and I am here till 9pm.
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