updates and yep a mildstone

Ok I have been gone awhile and I have a lot to say but I will try to keep it short, well my version of short when writing on my blog LOL.  

Wow I saw that I have a follower how awesome is that!! Shot out to my follower I appreciate it.

Ok back to the situation at hand. I weigh in once a week and that day is on Sunday’s which has been working out for me. I only had one bad Sunday where I cried about a 2lb gain, yea I was stressing. Last Sunday the 21^st I actually went back to my Zumba class and I tell you how I missed being there. I should have gone this past Sunday but I was exhausted from being up to 4am on the phone talking with a friend.  That is a whole other story there with that up all night stuff.  I have been horrible at getting any exercise done, my mom’s joints have been hurting her really bad lately so we don’t go walking after work. I know what a BS excuse because I have a phone with music and I am a big girl in more ways than one so I can go walk alone. Things in this journey sometimes must be done alone and I need to stop using my mom physical ailments as an excuse. I have Zumba Rush for Kinect and created my own like 45 minute playlist and that is high intensity and way the hell haven’t I been doing it. I have all kinds of reasons like work and that accounting is kicking my ass are the only two really.  I watched a video talking about making excuses and making time for yourself like an appointment for exercise for example; well I haven’t worked that into my lifestyle just yet. That is something I have to work on especially as I lose weight I won’t be able to just cut calories and lose a pound here and there. I also have to remember not to be pissed off when the journey is slow because I am not going fast and hard with this journey like working out 7 days a week like an hour or two. Like I said hell I am not getting in even 30 minutes or even a day as of late.

This past Sunday was fantastic as far as scale victories go. I got on the scale and it stated I lost like 5lbs from my previous week weigh in and that had me accomplish my 1^st mini goal. My goals are set up to lose 10lbs at a time which means for me to lose 10lbs ten times. Now what I can’t explain why I wasn’t smiling from ear to ear when I hit that goal?  My Fitnesspal had me at a total loss of 11.6lbs since I started this journey back in what like March time frame. Granted placed on my calendar on my phone and for some reason it keeps disappearing from it, weird I know!!  Well My Fitnesspal said for me to drop my calories to 1470 since I lost over 10lbs so tell me why this has me scared to death. I have been struggling counting the 1540 calories I was allotted now they want me to decrease it even more. Ugh All I could think of was my birthday is this Friday the 4^th and then I go to Vegas next week and how in the world was I going to stay at or under 1470 calories.  Needless to say I have been stressed about it. What should I be doing is exercising did I do any yesterday NO, did I do any today NO. I am going to write this go to the restroom and go to bed.

I have to find a way to shake whatever this is about the exercising because tired or not I need to get it done and to do it on a daily basis’s. I will say that while in class I walk around the room more and even pace at times just to burn some calories. These past two weeks doing good with water intake but these past two days have been horrible in water intake.

The good thing is that I actually lost 10lbs by my birthday and before Vegas, the scary thing is I jumped on the scale this morning and I gained 2lbs. I didn’t spaze out like before. I knew that from Sunday and Monday that I felt like I was starving.  Saturday I basically slept the day away was exhausted from the work week and school so I had breakfast and a late lunch really, so Sunday I woke up and I felt so hungry and that feeling stayed with me. I ended up going to Texas Roadhouse and eating the rolls with the butter, a baked potato, a house salad with ranch dressing and I only ate a portion of my steak. Still the calories and carbs in what I ate, then Monday was the same thing but I was eating some of the steak I brought home (I had brought most of it home). I mean what do I expect with all that food (still didn’t eat all the steak Monday night) that I wouldn’t gain and no exercise.

I am terrified to gain it all back by the time I get back from Vegas because I would have experienced my birthday weekend this weekend and Vegas. I don’t want to start “over” to reach my mini goal; I just want to make it to my 2^nd set of 10lbs.  Plus I was supposed to share with my BFF about this blog, my FB group and my weight loss journey when I hit my first mini goal of 10lbs and I cant bring myself to do it. I keep thinking when you come back from Vegas you will have gained and that means you didn’t really reach the goal because you should be moving to losing more not gaining. So I think I will wait till I am back from Vegas see what my weight is and then tell her at the 20lb mark or when I get back the original mini goal.

I will try to do better with the blog just accounting kicking my ass and my students are draining me at work and a large class at that.